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Levi tapped his thumb against the steering wheel of his truck as he rumbled along the road. The world was bright and shiny, the sun beginning to really beat down as it edged towards its July heat. Soon everyone would be sitting in pools or hidden away indoors with the air conditioner. In a way, summer was almost one of the better times for the Sons to conduct business. The college kids were free from school and looking to imbibe in copious amounts of their moonshine or prescription pills. The radio was warbling some jaunty tune that he couldn't name if he tried but rather than turn it off, he hummed along contentedly.
The world just seemed like a happier place ever since Fawn had appeared at his door, her stomach slowly swelling with their child. Everything just felt right and he couldn't find a single thing to complain about. He'd been worried about Fawn under the Tucson sun but it certainly hadn't cramped their 'lifestyle' in any way. He'd dreamed of having her as his own for so long, he could scarce believe it was really happening. Levi had heard rumours of what pregnancy did to a woman but Fawn must have been having them three times over. Every shower, halfway through meals, the second they woke up, he chuckled to himself knowing that she'd probably start pawing at him even before he could shower.
Although he figured she'd restrain herself until he was at least in the shower. Laying down new asphalt wasn't a great smell and combined with the body odor of him breaking his back under the sun all day, he wasn't exactly flower fresh.
He geared the truck into park and climbed out of the cab. The door creaking loudly just before it slammed shut. With a slight groan, he leaned his shoulders back and stretched until his back cracked satisfyingly. Knowing what was waiting on the other side of the door, he practically bounded towards it with a ridiculous grin on his face. His fist rapped twice as he opened it. "Knock, knock, Daddy's home and he's hungry for his woman", he growled in his Cajun accent, his eyes casting around but failing to find her waiting in the living room. "Ready or not, here I come for ya", he called out as he dropped his bag by the front door and kicked off his boots.
thank you zinc
❝There's Nothing Like Losing You❞
Fawn was damn good at playing forget. If she didn’t believe she was Tig’s daughter, her piece of shit behaviour over the past few months certainly breathed life into the term ‘the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree’. But she’d split herself in two. One half utterly hated herself and how cowardly she was. She hadn’t even been able to call Quinn, couldn’t tell him she was pregnant with Levi’s child because honestly, hearing his pain would slaughter her. And she couldn’t just think about herself anymore, she had to be happy for both Levi and their unborn baby, so she would stick her head in the sand and forget that Charming even existed. Gemma was still looking after The Ivy for her and no doubt most people back home knew what was happening, including Que, news travelled fast. It made her sick, but there was nothing she could do now, she would hide away and let the other side of herself be ecstatic with the domestic bliss her and Levi had carved out.
In the past few weeks when he wasn’t doing Club work or normal work, Lee and Fawn were acting like a normal couple. Movies, dinners, road trips on the weekend. It was like she’d been given a taster of what her life could have always been like if she hadn’t messed up so many things. The Cajun Son was her chance to start afresh, her chance to make amends and honestly she didn’t know if she could ever set foot in the California town again. Charming was Quinn and Fawn, the place was covered in their memories and their love. Fawn couldn’t be there any longer, not if she wanted her and Lee to remain.
She was in their bedroom, wearing a pair of his boxers and a sports bra while examining the still tiny bump. Her hands caressed the gently rounded bulge. It was adorable and comforting and brought a smile to her face but for Fawn it still didn’t quite seem real. She still wasn’t envisioning herself as a mother just yet. She didn’t know why, but put it down to the rather unconventional circumstances surrounding her and Lee. The baby wasn’t planned that was for sure, so maybe it would take a little bit longer to fully comprehend what being a parent would entail.
The Club Daughter heard the familiar sound of his truck door slam and then him entering the house, she felt giddy with her need of him. His thick Cajun accent did nothing to abate Fawn’s enthusiasm and she careened out of their room and down the hall.
There he was, still at the threshold of their home, taking off his work boots as Fawn flew into his arms. Her nearly six foot frame leaping at him, as long, bare thighs wrapped around his waist. Her lips feverishly kissed at his mouth, cheeks, forehead and down his neck, ghosting over the fresh ink he’d recently gotten on his throat. “I missed you, Daddy.” She teased with a smirk, brushing his blonde locks back and kissing him again. “How was work, you make me millions?” Her arms folding around his neck as the Son carried her over to the couch. “Dinner’s in the oven, I’m feeling a little tired do you think we could just relax tonight, watch a movie or something?” Fawn asked, leaning back slightly and rubbing her belly, “she’s been giving me terrible morning sickness all day.”
Thank you Harlow for killing me
Hands clamped around the perfect bottom of his fiancee as he returned her kisses just as hungrily. Her tease doing nothing to help his 'hunger' but he was more interested in the flesh of the back of her thighs in his hands and his lips on her throat. "I knew you were only into me for my money. I at least thought it was cause I had a huge dick too but I shoulda known you were a dirty gold digger just like the rest of them." His arms flexed as he lifted her higher, her thighs moving to clasp around his ribs as he pressed a kiss to her stomach. He set her on the couch and knelt before her, fingers tenderly smoothing over her bare stomach.
"She's got her daddy's blood. She's gonna be a hell raiser." He pressed his lips to her stomach again, his cheek forming to it as he spoke quietly to their child. "Listen here, y'all need to settle down so your mama can relax. She works hard around here and I need her to have just a little bit of energy left when I get home." He pressed another kiss against Fawn's stomach, lips trailing up to her covered cleavage that he smothered in kisses until she shoved his head away. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower. You just relax and get naked 'fore I come back."
He blasted the water until it was scalding hot and scoured away the remnants of his work day. He stopped in his bedroom to slip into a pair of beaten jeans that were as comfortable as a pair of sweats and ducked into one of his under armour shirts to help combat the heat. He wandered back into the living room and leaned over the couch to kiss Fawn again, something he never tired of. "I'll go grab dinner, you put something on for us. Just no chick flicks cause I don't need you gettin' all blubbery on me like that last one."
The blonde Son opened the oven door to find steak and mashed potatoes waiting for him, a large mound of the stuff covered in some kind of gravy that instantly made his mouth water. He carried it back into the living room and set into it, his stomach growling eagerly as he swallowed down a mouthful of meat and mash. The whole thing melted on his tongue and went down so easily, he almost forgot to chew it. "I'm gonna have to start working out twice as much or you're gonna make me fat, darling. I think I already put on a few pounds since you showed up", his hand set itself on her thigh and gently massaged the firm muscle, "But I can think of a few ways you can help me burn it off once you're done praying to the porcelain god."
thank you zinc
Was there a God? A higher power that actually determined a person's fate? Decided when they deserved to suffer and when they earned privilege? Quinn wasn't so sure anymore, sure about any of it. Nothing seemed to be right anymore. Fawn had just up and left him, in their younger days during the torrential parts of their relationship, it wasn't so intense. She'd go for a weekend to her mother's, he'd call and call until she spoke to him, he'd apologize and they'd make up, she'd come home and there would be bliss until the cycle repeated.
To completely vanish, that was unheard of. He'd traveled the coast, all the way to Vegas and back for any hint of her but everyone was either playing dumb or she really had just vanished. It took a while but eventually word spread as it always would. Tucson, pregnant, Levi, three words and they were enough to tear Quinn apart inside. He'd rampaged through his home, the TV was the first victim, his phone still sticking out of it days later where he'd thrown it in frustration. The coffee table had gone next, thrown across the room to shatter into the wall. And to speak of the walls, to see their suffering as day after day, holes would appear, the drywall sheeting smashed in and destroyed by foot and fist. The fridge door, innocent and yet its door hung from a single hinge after a simple look to see if there was any food and before he'd known it, Quinn had slammed and slammed and eventually tore at the door until it hung broken. Plates, glasses, mugs, ashtrays, if it was glass or fragile, it had probably become a missile of frustration.
Eventually when he'd run out of things to break and his fists were raw and bloody, he'd stop to breathe. He would give her time. She would come to her senses and call him. She would explain, he would shout, she would scream and something would eventually work. Only the call never came. Day after day and he still hadn't heard from her. His fury, once dying embers had restoked itself to a roaring inferno and before he'd known it, Quinn was on the road.
The trip to Tucson had required a couple nights of rest and it only built on the frustration because he knew that dying because he was too tired would do nothing to help him tear Levi's head from his shoulders. His sleep consisted of the bare minimum and he was back on the road even before first light. Eventually Tucson appeared and Quinn steered himself towards Levi's house. It was later in the day but it was more likely Levi would be home from work.
He let his bike coast silently down the road until he was parked behind Levi's truck. Quinn dismounted his Harley and marched towards his half brother's front door. The boot was already up and lashing out before he had settled on a plan. The wood around the latch splintered and exploded as the door came off its hinges and slid across the ground. He was inside before it had even settled, his eyes taking in the picture before him. A perfect little family sitting down to dinner, Fawn barely covered, snuggled against Levi as he tucked into a lovely home cooked meal.
The tableau froze picture perfect as three sets of eyes dashed back and forth. He didn't know who made the first noise or when he'd palmed the Glock but before his brain thought about it, the pistol leaped up and fired two shots into the couch on the far side away from Fawn. Even in his rage, he was at least a half decent marksman, he'd never hit her as long as she didn't intentionally jump in front of him. Levi however only got lucky by gift of fast reflexes as he threw himself over Fawn. Seeing where the shots had been aiming, the Cajun leaped over the low table and smashed into Quinn, both brothers careening backwards until a closet door stopped them.
They extracted themselves from the remains of the door and leaped at one another like feral dogs. Fists, knees, elbows, gouging thumbs, headbutts and all the while Levi's hand stayed locked around the pistol in Quinn's grip as he fought for control of it. They rolled back and forth, blood spreading from a busted nose, a cut over an eyebrow that blinded with crimson. The third pistol shot stopped them though. Like following a trail of clues, the two bastard sons looked at the smoking barrel, Levi's hand now gripping the handle, his finger curled around the trigger, following where it was pointing, right to where Fawn was standing.
"Oh god... Fawn..."
thank you zinc
❝There's Nothing Like Losing You❞
She grinned cheekily at him, enjoying the ridiculously relaxing sensation of his hands massaging her calves. It was so easy to love Levi, so painfully easy and if she didn’t think too long and hard about it, this might as well have been heaven. Her bare foot teasingly poked against his belly, “maybe I like you chubby hmmmm or maybe I just want you to get fat with me, so I don’t feel so gross.” Fawn quipped back, rolling her eyes at his not so subtle hint for sex. She might as well enjoy it now though, because pretty soon she was going to be as big as a house and feeling the complete opposite of sexy or horny.
The distinct feeling of domestic contentment washed over them both, Fawn slowly flicked through the channels, while Levi continued to eat and gently caress her. It was really quite perfect.
Then the door imploded open. It happened so fast, she didn’t really have time to react. Her brain wasn’t able to process the danger or even that it was abnormal for such a thing to have happen. Instead her mind irrationally felt a jolt of excitement seeing Quinn in the threshold of the home, as if her brain hadn’t caught up to the situation at hand. It was just working on muscle memory, it was so used to feeling joy whenever the SAMCRO Son’s face was conjured. It did take a second, but eventually the gravity of the situation sunk deeply into her bones. She let out a pathetic whimper of pain and that seemed to kick everything off. Levi jerked his body as if getting ready to rise but that set Quinn off and he raised his Glock. Fawn felt her throat go dry, all the air stopped flowing and the blood rushed to her ears. She felt the cold kiss of horror and terror settle on her shoulders like a mist. He’s actually going to kill me. She thought, hearing a loud clapping sound as Quinn pulled the trigger.
Fawn cried out, her hands going up to her belly as Levi spread himself atop her in order to protect both her and their child. In all her years of being with Que, she’d never seen him in such a state and knowing she’d done that to him made her hurt all the more. She couldn’t be angry at him, not even for firing his gun, she loved him too much to be angry, especially when everything had and would always be her fault. Levi of course had no such clarity and with a growl he careened over the coffee table and tackled his brother. The pair mauled at one another, she couldn’t recall a time that she’d seen such malice and hatred, their violence a perfect outlet for it all. She shot to her feet, screaming at them, begging them to stop. If she hadn’t been pregnant she would have thrown herself in between them but her unborn child had to be put first. God, please God, don’t kill each other, please.
“STOP IT, FUCKING HELL, PLEASE STOP IT…..IT’S ME…. BE MAD AT ME QUINN!!” Fawn roared, dashing away frustrated tears as the two men she loved wrestled and brawled on the ground, their blood a patchwork on the floor beneath.
Another clap of gunfire sounded, making her jump out of fright. She felt funny all of a sudden, her tummy was almost numb, cold even. Perhaps the stress had done something? Then she heard Quinn’s gravelled cry and she looked down at the floor by her feet. There was fresh blood there and it was dripping, was it coming from her? “Guys, I think I might need to go to the hospital.” She whispered, her brow furrowing as her mind tried to make sense of what was happening. Why did she feel so weak all of a sudden, was she having a miscarriage? Fawn hit the ground before she even realised she was falling and she let out a frantic wail of fear and confusion, while she frantically tried to make her legs move. “Que, Lee….please….I….can’t feel my legs…what’s happening?!” She sobbed, reaching down to feel her stomach and coming away with a palm completely sodden with blood.
Thank you Harlow for killing me
Was he to be forever denied happiness? A taste of heaven and his tongue was cut from his mouth. A sight of happiness and God had chosen to blind him. Would he be forced to hear her voice only for deafness to be his reward? Odin merely gave an eye to earn knowledge of the world. Levi felt forever doomed to have to give his all just to have a reason to smile.
The door blew apart in a shower of splinters and then the smell of burnt gunpowder filled his senses. He didn't stop to think that the man he charged held a loaded pistol, he only knew that the woman he loved, the woman carrying his child was being threatened and he threw himself into the danger to protect her. A savage fury of blows was traded between the two as they fought for control of the pistol. He felt the cold metal under his fingers as he clawed at the fingers around it. He threw his elbow into the side of Quinn's head, the distance too close to punch. He felt the response of knees to his ribs as Quinn tried to roll on top for dominance. Levi felt the spray of blood as a shot caught Quinn in the mouth and split his lip.
He felt the grip around the pistol slacken and managed to slip his fingers underneath. Now he was holding it and Quinn was clawing at him to gain ownership back. A strike caught him under the eye on his blind side but he could feel the warmth of blood falling down his cheek, the coppery tinge smothering his senses of taste and smell as a second hit spread it across his face. Levi felt his brother lurch and quickly tightened his grip on the gun.
Everything froze as it barked out its lethal fury, the slide cutting matching railroad tracks, one for each brother's knuckle. It would scar and remind them forevermore of what happened that day.
Levi dropped the pistol like it was a live snake and quickly wrenched himself free of Quinn's grip as he scrambled across the room to hold Fawn. He propped an arm under her head and pressed a hand over her stomach. "Oh god, oh god, Fawn, Fawn, no no no, oh fuck. HELP! HELP!", he shouted, praying someone had heard the shot and were calling for help. Suddenly Quinn appeared and pressed his hand atop Levi's to increase the pressure over Fawn's wound.
"It's ok. You're gonna be ok, babygirl. It's gonna be ok."
The brothers never took their eyes from Fawn's face. Both of their hands over her, keeping the blood in her body, doing what they could to help her until help arrived. They didn't notice the sound of sirens approaching. Somewhere in the time between, Quinn had hidden away the pistol and suddenly there were shouts for them to put their hands in the air. More sirens and the brothers were replaced by paramedics that quickly whisked Fawn away to the hospital while they were bundled into the back of squad cars.
thank you zinc
They gave the same story, a home invasion gone wrong, an attempted attack by a rival gang. The cops probably weren't going to look into it, they'd often let the gangs sort themselves out as long as innocent civilians weren't dragged into it. Flynn and Elliot must have sorted their release because a few hours later they were let out. They would have run to the hospital, the hours had gone by with no word of what was happening, Flynn could only let them know Fawn was in surgery but nothing more.
Hours passed as they waited in the hospital. A nurse must have taken pity because at some point food had appeared but it went untouched as silence hung heavy around them. An eternity passed before a doctor appeared. She was stable but they'd lost the baby. Quinn saw Levi wince as if he'd been physically attacked. She was still under sedation but she was strong, she would be alright with care. Then they were left in silence again.
"This is your fault." The words appeared suddenly on his lips but he felt the truth behind them. "If you could have just grown the fuck up and gotten over her, she never would've been here. She'd have been with me. Safe."
"You brought the fucking gun. You kicked in our door and ruined every fucking thing. If you hadn't chased her down like a pathetic pussy, we'd be asleep right now, counting down the days until our child was born. Everything was finally good. It was finally the way it was meant to be and you fucking ruined it. I should fucking kill you for this." Levi was suddenly across the room with a fist curled inside the collar of Quinn's shirt, his face shaking with rage.
Quinn didn't respond, he let Levi shake and bluster for a minute longer before delivering his coup de grace. "But in the end, you were the one that shot her. You killed your child, Lee. You'll never be able to change that." The fist loosened and Quinn stood, brushing past the comatose Levi. He left him standing there but not before leaving him with one last remark. "If you had any balls, you'd go home and eat a fucking bullet yourself."
He strode down the hallway until he saw Fawn's name on a clipboard outside of a door. He didn't bother knocking in case she was asleep as she was when he opened the door. He moved a chair to her bedside and gently reached over to hold her hand. "I'm so sorry this happened, babygirl. I'm so sorry." He squeezed her hand gently and waited until her eyes opened.
thank you zinc
❝There's Nothing Like Losing You❞
She remembered them both holding her. And in her state, she had thought ‘this is ok, they’re working together, they won’t hate each other now’. Stupid thing to think really, in reality what had conspired at the home would rip the brothers down the middle irrevocably, there would no healing the rift anymore. Levi and Quinn would forever hate each other and that was on Fawn. It was all her fault, every single part of it. Including the shooting. Que would never have come down in such a frenzy if she hadn’t spoken to him properly, she should have explained things so much better. Fawn had hurt him and this was her punishment. But despite her clarity, she was still selfishly mad at the SAMCRO biker, hated him for barging in on the domestic peace her and Lee had meticulously created. And now her unborn baby was dead. She knew this, sensed that her body was her own once again. A part of her wanted to feel more grief about that, and she recoiled when she realised there was another emotion floating around. Relief, and Fawn fucking despised herself for feeling it. But it was true. Having a baby completely walled her off from Quinn, she knew that bearing Levi’s child would be too far even for Que’s love, she knew she would have lost him forever. A part of her hadn’t been ready to accept that. But then she felt such a deep, hollow sadness knowing she was not going to be a mother, and knowing her and Levi weren’t going to get the happy ending that she’d been so open to.
Fawn felt less pain for her own loss and more pain over Levi’s, he’d been so happy and he’d be so terribly distraught right now. She wanted to just open her eyes and get up. She wanted to go to the man she loved him and hold him and tell him it wasn’t his fault, and that he was still loved. Their child’s death was on her, not on him and she couldn’t bear to think that he was alone right now, stewing in his own self-hating thoughts. Someone needed to protect Levi from himself. Open your eyes Fawn, God damn you, fucking wake up.
Someone was holding her hand. She knew it was Que, she could smell his cologne, she used to buy it for him all the time. It smelled so comforting mixed with the leather of his kutte. He used to spray it on her pillow case when they’d been together, so that when he went on overnight rides, she could still have a part of him with her. How far they had come from that passionate, youthful couple, how fucking far they had fallen. Fawn mourned her past self, things had been so much simpler back when she loved only one brother. But now there was no running from it, if the last month had taught her anything it was that she loved Levi, just as much as she loved Quinn. It was that very equal measure that was making all of it so agonising. There was absolutely no way to choose. For a brief modicum of time the baby had made the decision, but now her baby was gone.
She felt a roll of tears drizzle out from beneath her closed lids. Then she experienced the pain and the loopy feeling of the meds which were beginning to wane. With a gasp she felt herself rushing towards consciousness, like an elevator hastening towards the ceiling, about to crash. The lights weren’t on as she opened her eyes and gasped, letting out a shuddering wheeze. She could feel the Sons vice like grip on her hand, the rest of his body rising and coming to shadow over her. Fawn saw his eyes first, those eyes which she loved so much. Beautiful and blue, surrounded by a thicket of gold tipped lashes and a smattering of freckles across his nose. She tried to open her mouth to speak but her mouth felt like the desert and immediately Que placed a hand on her cheek, telling her not to try speak yet.
After what felt like an eternity of silence, the first words that came out her mouth were, “I lost the baby didn’t I?” and while she already knew the answer, hearing Quinn tell her yes was still like a knife to the heart. She wasn’t looking at him, just straight ahead at the hospital door, with a tiny little window in the middle. “Fuck…” She said with a hiccupped sob, wrenching her hand out of his in order to bring it to her mouth, curtailing the sounds of her sobs. “God damn it Quinn, what the fuck were you doing, with a gun?!….What did you think would go down? I can’t tell you how fucking angry I am at you, and I know you’re angry at me too and I know I deserve this…..but I still…..ah fuck….FUCK!” The sentence had taken all her energy, she didn’t have anymore. Her head lulled to the side so that she could look at him finally. She wondered if her face was a mask of fury or if it was unreadable, she didn’t have the energy to paint the emotion on.
Thank you Harlow for killing me
Quinn could barely get the words out to answer Fawn's question. The words he'd said to Levi were to his mind true but a lie from his heart. He'd brought the gun, the very thing that had taken Fawn's happiness from her. He'd tracked her down. He'd kicked in the door. He'd taken away the little domestic life, no matter that it was fake, she'd built around herself. Everything, all of the settled happiness she'd ever wanted, Quinn had appeared and torn it all apart in a fit of jealous rage.
The truth of it all though, was that he didn't feel an ounce of guilt.
Her happiness with Levi. The baby she was going to have with Levi. The life and love that she had been planning on giving to him. None of it was Levi's to have. It was Quinn's. He was meant to give her happiness, love and build a life with her. It should have been his child she carried within. It should have been the two of them sitting on that couch having dinner. Levi had no place in her life. No right to lay claim to any part of her. For a brief moment, Quinn almost considered getting up to see if Levi had done what Quinn had told him to and gone home to do what Quinn hadn't gotten to. It would hurt Fawn when she found out but then Quinn would take care of her and in time, she'd see it was for the best.
He moved his chair closer, his knees pressed into the side of the bed as he leaned forward. "I'm so sorry that you got hurt, baby. I'm so sorry that you got caught up in any of this. I was angry, but not at you, never at you. He took you from me, he went behind my back and betrayed me. None of this was your fault and you didn't deserve any of this. I promise you though, it'll be all better now. Soon as you can leave, I'm gonna take you home and take care of you. You'll never have to see Tucson ever again. It'll be you and me, just like it always should've been."
Quinn got to his feet and stood over Fawn, gently fluffing her pillows and brushing the loose strands of hair from her face, holding a cup of water and a straw so she could drink, he would be the one that would take care of her now. He made a mental note to get someone from SAMTAZ to swing by Levi's for Fawn's stuff. Quinn didn't want to be anywhere near that place again. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, if he ever saw Levi again, he'd make sure the job was done this time.
"It's gonna be hard at first, I know but just think, we'll be back home where we always should have been. The dogs miss you like crazy, I think they claimed your bed just to have your smell nearby. I'll sell my place and we can find a new place if you want. A nice little cottage with a fenced yard. The dogs can run around together", he placed a hand on her leg, not wanting to aggravate her stomach. "We'll see what our options are and go from there. I love you, Fawn. I love you more than anyone else ever could and you're mine. You know that in your heart. This, us together, that's what's meant to be. Levi was the one that tried to ruin that, he went behind both our backs and took advantage of you. I don't blame you for being with him. He took advantage because of the scum he is. You deserve a man that would never do that. If he took advantage of you once, then he'd do it again. He's gone now, though. It's just us", he bent down and brushed a kiss against her forehead. "Just get some rest, I'm gonna sleep on that couch right over there and I'll be here for anything you need. I love you, Bambi."
thank you zinc
❝There's Nothing Like Losing You❞
This wasn’t Quinn, from the tone of his voice to the words that were coming out of his mouth. This wasn’t the man she knew and loved. He seemed delusional and too calm, as if he’d worked everything out already. He was so self-assured in the knowledge that he could make her better, that Fawn immediately wanted to shy away from him – something she’d never done in the past. He didn’t even seem angry at her, which was all wrong. Levi deserved none of the blame. It was Fawn who sought him out, Fawn who told him he was going to be a father, the Tucson Son was only doing the right thing by the woman carrying his child. Well, who was carrying his child. She suddenly felt a wash of sadness and guilt, the guilt was her own but the sadness she felt only for Levi. She wanted to see him, more than she could articulate. He needed her, she had to tell him she didn’t blame him and that she would make it better, she’d take away the pain. Ironically as Que tried to convince her it was all going to be alright, in her mind she was doing the same thing to Levi. She imagined his weight on her body, his head laying placidly on her chest. Her hands soothed over his blonde hair, tickling down the back of his neck. Fawn could feel his arms tighten around her as another wash of anguish enveloped him, and she rolled into it with him, letting him know that eventually it wouldn’t hurt so badly.
Her mind wandered, she didn’t even realise Quinn had risen until he was standing over her. Fussing her pillow, touching her face, her hair. His touch was so familiar, so instinctually pleasing that Fawn didn’t have the right words to rebuke his claims. Even though she wanted to, she wanted to scream at him to snap out of it, to wake up and see just how devastating this whole thing really was. The Son seemed utterly fixated on the fact that with the baby gone, Fawn was now free to go back with him, as if insinuating that the only reason she could have ever loved Levi was because of a kid. But that wasn’t true, she loved them both, however right now she did not love the Quinn in front of her. If she had any strength she would have shoved him away, she would have struck him across the face and roared until he saw sense. Fawn had none of this imagined strength though, so instead she dutifully took a sip of the water he offered. Like a pathetic child.
Quinn continued to jabber on, he didn’t even notice her head turning to the side to look out the window and pretend he wasn’t there. The incessant babble of his plans and his misplaced confidence that suddenly she was just going to head back to Charming and be with him, was driving her crazy. But it was only when he placed a kiss on her forehead that she suddenly came to life. Using her feeble strength she pushed against his chest.
“GET OFF ME QUE, ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!” She shrieked, her voice husky and cracked. “Are you even listening to yourself right now? You’re talking about a future with me after I have just lost my child. The child Levi and I created and it’s partly YOUR fault, you never should have fucking come down here Quinn, look at what you’ve done.” Fawn gestured wildly to her belly, “LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO ME!”
Her heart rate monitor began to beep faster, a tension riddled dot of sound that was increasing, like an orchestra’s final crescendo. “I LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU, DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND, AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU, I LOVE LEVI ALSO…..AND BECAUSE OF THAT MY BABY IS FUCKING DEAD….DEAD QUINN!! HOW CAN YOU THINK I’LL JUST GET OVER THAT AND SETTLE BACK DOWN WITH YOU!?”
The orderlies and nurses rushed into the room, shoving the biker to the side and bracing Fawn’s arms as she began to sob hysterically. The black hole of depression and confusion was collapsing in on her and she didn’t have the strength to climb out before it closed. Thankfully though, unconsciousness claimed her first and when she closed her eyes, the last thing she saw was Quinn, whose face was unreadable.
Thank you Harlow for killing me
Quinn's words had struck deep within his soul. It was his fault, his fault for being so delusional and stupid to think he'd ever have some kind of future with Fawn. Stupid to think she'd have his child, marry him, live with him, have more children and die old together. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He'd left the hospital, gone home to finish cleaning up once the cops were done, he packed Fawn's things carefully, cleaning the house to how she'd had it. He set her belonging by the door, a simple note of apology taped to it. He'd gone into the bathroom, sat on the edge of the tub, put a gun in his mouth and squeezed the trigger.
He expected the crack of the bullet or blinding pain or even a bright white light. What he got was a view of his dingy bathroom, tiles faded, a slight ring around the inside of the sink and a gaudy pink throw mat on the bathroom floor. He looked down into the barrel of his gun and realized that the round hadn't gone off. "FUCK!", Levi slammed the pistol down on the edge of the sink which seemed to set off the round as the pistol leapt and the round he'd meant for himself buried it into the wall behind him, inches to the left of his skull.
Levi felt a hollow sickness in his stomach. He hadn't been thinking, only acting on impulse and now he was facing the realization of what he'd almost done. Burning bile spilled from his lips as he threw himself at the toilet, barely making it in time to be sick in it. Tears coursed down his face as he fell to the floor and let the agony wrack his broken form. He'd hurt Fawn, he almost killed her, he didn't deserve life, he didn't deserve happiness and least of all, he didn't deserve her. Cleaning himself up, Levi went to the last place he was probably wanted.
Sneaking in had been relatively easy, slipping past the Patch outside of her door, slowly shutting it behind him so as not to wake her. He gave himself the mere pleasure of tucking the blanket it gently around her and brushing the hair from her face. His fingers softly stroking her pale features, wishing he was in her place instead.
"Hey baby, I don't have any right to be here and saying any of this but I needed to see you, even if it's for the last time. I'm gonna go away for a bit, I think I need to step away from the world and get my head straight. I...", the words choked in his throat. "I tried something earlier and it didn't work but I think I know why. I think the reason it didn't work is because I haven't made things right for you. I hurt you, I killed our child and my last chance at happiness. I need to suffer for that longer but I'm not going to do it here because I know you'll try and drag yourself down with me. I'm leaving tonight, my place is yours as long as you need it, I left a note in your bag where you can find my cash safe. It's all yours, I let Flynn know but I didn't tell him where I was going so don't bother interrogating him.
I just came here to say that I still love you. I don't deserve to have that right but I can't help myself. I know I ruined everything but I know that you still have happiness waiting for you. I just wanted to say goodbye and have one last look at you." Levi got up slowly, quiet as a mouse as he walked towards the door. One last glance back at the prostrate figure on the bed. His heart ached painfully as he memorized every last detail he could. "Goodbye, my Fawn."
thank you zinc
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I also have an unhealthy obsession with Dungeons and Dragons, Critical Role, Macaroni and cheese, collectables and candy mints which are super tasty and delicious and Bex is just jealous (I Bex, hate how many mints he brings home after we visit a restaurant and he ALWAYS leaves them scattered on our desk).
I'm still writing things here because Bex didn't give me a lot of reference on what's meant to go here. Now I'm gonna list some of my favourite shows and movies. Spider-Man: Homecoming, Kingsman, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Losers, King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, Batman Beyond, The Office, Brooklyn 99, Daredevil, Punisher, pretty much any Godzilla movie, giant monster movies in general.
I read a lot of books, my favourite book series is The Dresden Files. My favourite superhero is Moon Knight. Bex have I written enough yet? Can I stop now? (Yes you can stop now, you wanker)
I like doggos and dramatic plots, fuck realism let's do some Young and the Restless shit with our plots, lets go balls to the walls, lets (in the words of Olivia Newton-John) get physical. Let's cry and rage and swear out our plots!! On the flipside happy to do chill threads too. People say I'm indecisive I have no idea what they're talking about.